baby clock

so those 2 things would seem to be unrelated. and, in truth - they are. it's just what happens to be on my mind at this precise moment - as i unwind before bedtime.

my internet and blogger friend angie is intent on knocking up drosophila females for her genetic experiment...and reading about it at her premenopaws blog (linked on your right there) got me in the mood to discuss my baby clock. for about the past 9 months (haha, no - seriously) - it's been ticking fiercely. i think it might be about to detonate or something. it worries me. when you start to actually hear it ticking - does that mean it's time? and if it does indeed mean that, does it also mean that time is running out for my ovaries? or am i forever sterile anyway, thanks to my powerful right-handed rotary phone throw = cracked microwave door that for SOME reason my parents didn't replace for several years?? i'm probably sterile, as are my 4 brothers. so, yeah that wasn't what i wanted to talk about at all. my point was that the drama in my life - which took place this previous summer and which i've only vaguely talked about here - has left me with the desire to fill my nest. i'm ready. it's a welcome feeling. i always knew in theory and in the abstract that i wanted children. there was never really any question about that for me. but i never felt it. felt it down to the roots of my soul. i never felt i was missing anything. i was always pretty happy in my life with jim - just the 2 of us, free to do as we please. more or less. but now, now, now - the monstrous ticking inside me never quiets. i'm hoping this clock doesn't have an alarm, because there will be only one way to shut it off when it finally rings...
it might be ringing already.