Lately...

I realize I haven't been talking much about veterinary medicine. This diabetes thing is dominating my mind. Eating is really difficult when you have to be so careful. Planning is required. Any interruption in the schedule throws off everything. For instance, I set an alarm this morning to get up and check my BG, then fix myself breakfast. As I was lying in bed, preparing to rise, my phone rang. It was our office manager, asking me to come in. Our receptionist's cat was dying and on the way to the clinic.

I barely had time to grab a box of Wheat Thins and run out the door. I also didn't get a protein to pair my carbs with, so another fail. After everything was said and done at the clinic, I had to meet with the dietitian for 2 hours to discuss managing the diabetes. My BG immediately beforehand was 180. Stress spike anyone? (My receptionist's cat was in fulminant heart failure likely brought on by an error made by a technician at work last night. He died before I arrived).

With the way my numbers are looking, insulin is very likely going to be added to my treatment regimen. People keep telling me that it's no big deal. It feels like a very, very big deal - twice daily injections until the baby arrives. I'm depressed and cannot stop believing that this is my fault on some level.

Someone suggested in the comments that I switch to part-time work at the clinic. This isn't feasible for the simple fact that I am our sole source of income. Since my maternity leave is unpaid, the money we have in our savings will be the money that will get us through the maternity leave. Thus, unless the doctor makes it mandatory, I have to work through to the end.

It's only 59 more days! Evaline had her first bout of hiccups that I was aware of last night. It kept me awake for a good 20 minutes, until they subsided. At first, I was a little worried, since I hadn't felt that particular movement pattern before, then I figured out what it was. Very, very weird...