Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Lately...

I realize I haven't been talking much about veterinary medicine. This diabetes thing is dominating my mind. Eating is really difficult when you have to be so careful. Planning is required. Any interruption in the schedule throws off everything. For instance, I set an alarm this morning to get up and check my BG, then fix myself breakfast. As I was lying in bed, preparing to rise, my phone rang. It was our office manager, asking me to come in. Our receptionist's cat was dying and on the way to the clinic.

I barely had time to grab a box of Wheat Thins and run out the door. I also didn't get a protein to pair my carbs with, so another fail. After everything was said and done at the clinic, I had to meet with the dietitian for 2 hours to discuss managing the diabetes. My BG immediately beforehand was 180. Stress spike anyone? (My receptionist's cat was in fulminant heart failure likely brought on by an error made by a technician at work last night. He died before I arrived).

With the way my numbers are looking, insulin is very likely going to be added to my treatment regimen. People keep telling me that it's no big deal. It feels like a very, very big deal - twice daily injections until the baby arrives. I'm depressed and cannot stop believing that this is my fault on some level.

Someone suggested in the comments that I switch to part-time work at the clinic. This isn't feasible for the simple fact that I am our sole source of income. Since my maternity leave is unpaid, the money we have in our savings will be the money that will get us through the maternity leave. Thus, unless the doctor makes it mandatory, I have to work through to the end.

It's only 59 more days! Evaline had her first bout of hiccups that I was aware of last night. It kept me awake for a good 20 minutes, until they subsided. At first, I was a little worried, since I hadn't felt that particular movement pattern before, then I figured out what it was. Very, very weird...

3 comments:

VetVoyeur said...

Blaming yourself for the gestational diabetes is not necessary or helpful. Bad things just happen to good people all the time. Look forward, not back, we can't change the past but we CAN change the future by the decisions we make today. Life is stressful enough without adding the stress of self-blame. VV

BSDVM12 said...

Hang in there! My 21-year-old little sister (petite and thin all her life) was diagnosed with Type I DM a couple months ago, just kind of out of the blue. (Her BG was too high to read on the ER's machine that went up to 800.) It was a struggle for her at first, but after a couple weeks of figuring out diet and monitoring and insulin, she really got the hang of it and settled into a good routine. Now, I know my sister's not carrying another little person around inside her to worry about like you are, but she thought she'd never get her glucose/insulin balance straightened out and she did. Best wishes for you and your little one (and for Chicken Biscuit).

Iowa said...

I think you can partially look at it like what happens at work...the worst things happen to the nicest people, right? You just happened to be one of the awesome people given a bad rap. :) Even ER docs see that - the nicest people that come in and don't want to bother anyone are the ones that often have stage 4 inoperable cancer of some type.

Hope Chicken Biscuit feels better soon and that you do too!