Sunday, January 11, 2009

it's 6am

and all i can think about is the mcdonald's large sweet tea that will shortly be in my grubby little hands. i might forego the straw and just hook it up to myself IV style. i didn't sleep tonight/last night/this night(? it all starts to blur on overnights/ER). i had patients to take care of that i didn't wrap up until close till 4:30am, and now...what's the point? i'm "off" in 2 hours. i say "off" because i likely won't get home till 9am at the earliest.

i feel better tonight. better being the operative word. not great. last night, i thought of some ways to improve my end of things at the job. i implemented those today, and i feel like it made a great deal of difference.

see, it's not just the difficulty of dealing with irate and confrontational owners with no finances or putting down the 6th animal of the night for financial reasons or being told what a terrible, heartless person i must be to withhold's also the fact that i've been having ... shall we say ... staff problems (?) lately.

this blog is anonymous, but i feel that i should be vague in exactly what this means. i also should try to maintain some modicum of professionalism. suffice to say that things are going on which have made me seriously question whether i will stay here next year or not. i suppose i will talk about these problems at some point. not now.

here's a post from a blog i read (ah, medical residency). it sums up some of what i feel about my job and why it can be such a weight. obviously - it's about human medicine and the experience is different - but some of the general ideas are the same:

"But mostly I’m just tired of the reality. Being confronted with society’s ills, in every sense of the word (because it turns out this job encompasses the literal medical ills, the economic ills, the social ills, etc., which is a lot more than what they advertise in medical school), on a daily and nightly basis is like (warning: over-used cliché alarm) being forced to push an immeasurably heavy stone up an unbelievably steep hill…only that the stone keeps getting heavier and the hill keeps getting steeper on a daily (or even hourly) basis."

and with that, i bid you good night. or good morning. or whatever.


Tayaki said...

i would love a sweet tea right now, but we're having blizzard-like weather outside and it's just too cold to be sitting with an iced-drink. have you tried anything else from the McCafe? their lattes are surprisingly good, and cheap! i became addicted when i first discovered the McCafe in dublin. all other mcdonalds food is gross, but their caffeinated drinks are wonderful!

jameswcalvin said...

I'm going to pray for you. I know its been rough fr you these last couple of weeks. I'm not a vet but am in school to eventually become one, so I really don't know what is really going one. but one thing that always helps me out when I think I'm in this world alone or things can't get much more worse and then it does is knowing that somebody is on my side, rooting for me to make it through this hard time.

Anonymous said...

Hmmm... I'm a recent grad and I've worked at 3 different places (ERs). For my ER internship, the "staff" was a surly bunch with some individuals that were rude to all. Although offered a job there, I declined primarily due to the "staff." With the stress of ER medicine, I don't need the added struggle and unpleasantness of working with some employees that seem to be inherently incapable of performing their jobs with professionalism and maturity. ER #2 had okay staff but were lacking in a few other areas. ER #3 has everything I wanted including extremely professional staff that are concerned with performing tasks in a timely manner with complete professionalism and awareness of the chain of authority. Of course, this 3rd ER doesn't offer any internships so maybe the lack of respect for "new" vets isn't engendered or even a consideration.