Saturday, January 3, 2009

the charmed life

(warning: somewhat rambling/incoherent post)

i'm sitting here at 5am unable to sleep (likely because i slept most of today). i've been playing on facebook. this is my new and total waste of time entertainment. hey - it's cheap! i just started a new album on my facebook - pictures of family functions. sitting here, going through the literally thousands of pictures from the last 4 years of my life (when i acquired my first real digital cam), i am moved by the photos.

what is so moving? perhaps you wonder. it stems from this: just 2 days ago, i read an article about modern day slavery. it was fascinating, compelling, and terribly sad. you can read it here (and i highly recommend it):

after finishing it, i sat for a while just thinking about the incomparable wealth that surrounds me. i'm not speaking only of the material wealth here - although i am surrounded by that in abundance, as well. i'm talking about the immaterial things. i have friends that love me, that care about my well-being, that i love. i have not one but two families - my own and that of my husband. they are both different and wonderful, and i love them both more than trite words or cliches can convey.

i've been a little sad tonight. i was looking at pictures of thanksgiving and christmas four years ago, and i came across pictures of my beautiful cousin. for those of you who started reading after i did a "blog cleanse" (i erase all old posts about once a year) - you probably don't know that my 2 year old cousin drowned in a terrible accident 3 years ago this past december. it was a shock my family weathered together. looking at his pictures tonight broke my heart a little. he was a beautiful little boy with a gorgeous smile, and we all loved him dearly. his funeral was attended by 300+ people. there wasn't room enough in the church. my uncle and aunt are extremely active in that church as are my grandparents. i've been going there with them since i was too young to remember. last year alone, they donated greater than $40,000 to the church (my uncle is a CEO). crosby and my family are loved. that outpouring was evident at his funeral.

it is evident every time i look at these pictures. i am blessed in every possible way that someone can be blessed. i have done nothing to deserve this richness in my life, and yet i have it.

i try to remind myself of that fact every single day - every sad day at work, every stressful moment, i look to what i have and take strength from that. i live in a nation of riches, i am free, i have 2 families to which i can always turn, i am never alone - no matter how sad i feel.


premenopaws said...

I tell myself that too... that I've got so much in my life and am so lucky and I really have no place to feel sorry for myself or be sad or depressed. But as I'm trying to accept, it's still OK to be sad or upset or have a sucky day. It doesn't mean you don't appreciate what you have. Some days, some situations just suck and it's OK to to feel it. (Yes, pop psychotherapy was my minor in school, haha.)

premenopaws said...

Meant to mention I just joined FB a couple of weeks ago too... the pressure of everyone telling me what I was missing out on finally got to me. I thought it was fun for about a week, and now I hardly log on.