Tuesday, January 25, 2005

it's 1:30am and i'm ruminating (pun intended)

i've been studying rumination/digestive fermentation of herbivores (or herbeevores (emphasis on the h of herb) as my prof likes to call them) for the past 2 hours. prior to that, i was knee deep in virology and gross anatomy. my life has officially disappeared. and it's 1:30 - with no real end in sight. disgusting, eh? only the 2nd week of school. i like to tell people that my life is atrophying from disuse (use one of those $5 words from school). today was hellish. i was up at 7, in class at 8, at school till 5p (lab from 2-5), home by 5:30, napped till 7:30, dinner till 8:30, studying since then. and did i mention that i only got 3 hours last night? it's an entertaining existence, vet school. all i do is study and go to school. all day - every day. i studied for 11 hours on sunday - straight - with only 15 minute breaks. if i didn't really love what i was doing and look forward to new challenges and school...well...i'd be a very very sorry person.

but it's 1:40 now, and the night is very quiet. all i can hear is a train going by 3 blocks over and a mournful train whistle. everyone but me is asleep (all birds, all cats, all husbands). it's almost soothing. i feel lulled into complacency. the acidity in my stomach brought on by nightmares of failing out of vet school has calmed itself (for once). i am moderately peaceful. life has been very very good to me.

on that note, i have met so many unhappy people in the course of my life - and i am always surprised afresh at what can make people unhappy. i always naively assumed that if one had all the ingredients for a happy life - one would be happy. i now realize that is patently untrue. some people just aren't happy. as for myself, my life is rich in luxuries (despite our modest income) and pleasantness. what do i have to complain about? my great education? my having only 1 vehicle? only have 4 or 5 very close friends? only having 2 families to love and support me? i just can't fathom unhappy people...

i think i'm going to try and sleep now.

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