of shoes and ships and HUGE EPIDURAL NEEDLES

so, after blogging last night and trying for a coupla hours to study (unsuccessfully) - i succumbed to the gathering migraine's power, took some tylenol pm, laid in front of the colts/steelers game with my toxo notes, and 'studied.' in all seriousness, it was one of the worst headaches i've had in recent memory. it was coupled with cramps and extreme moments of rage - so i know that it heralds the onslaught of 'that time of the month.' i've been happily not having a 'that time of the month' for the past 2 months. and no, i'm not pregnant. i wish. then i'd have a legitimate excuse to drop out of vet school.

kidding.

well mostly.

i am looking forward to having kids one day. very much. i think my husband will make an excellent father. i can tell that he's looking forward to it too. he's great with kids. i have some doubts as to my own parenting capabilities -- but i (as i'm sure every pre-parent is) am PREPARED with THE Rules. how it's gonna be. no video games for more than 1 hour a day, mandatory homework hours, chores everyday. maybe my kids will get to do fun stuff too.

it's just the actual birthing of them that i'm worried about. i watched several dog spinal epidurals while i was in the neuro ward. i always thought i'd do the wimpy thing (not like my mother OR mother-in-law - both endured the birth of FIVE children naturally) and get an epidural. but guaging by the size of the needle used on a 20 lb dog - i'd better be unconscious when they come at my spinal canal. i want them to knock me out about 2 weeks before the delivery and wake me up when my child is walking and talking and potty-trained. i'm kidding --people really. how much harder than vet school can life get? seriously?

ohhh...staying up all hours of the night to feed the baby? yeah. big deal. getting no sleep? uh, par for the course. never showering? you should smell me now. always looking like a bus hit you? enough under-eye baggage to travel to paris and LIVE? depression? moments of random crying? arguing with your spouse? (that last one isn't true, actually).

wait, what am i talking about - vet school or having children?

i never intended to blog about my future child aspirations. but while i'm here - in all seriousness -
when i see jim with babies (like crosby) - i get all gooey. he's going to be a great dad. i don't think i'll live up to him as a mother. i'm already afraid i'm going to be the nazi dictator.

ok. so yeah.
why am i up at 2:30? oh yes, studying for my toxicology final on thursday. which i - OF COURSE - am not prepared for. but what else is new. and why did i just waste 10 minutes of sleep blogging? cuz i'm a numbskull. i'm going to bed.