Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Anxiety, you are not my friend.

It's been a long time since I had true, lasting anxiety. I have free-floating, rather nebulous anxiety sometimes, and other times, a very concrete anxiety related to some problem or other, but last night took me back to the panic attacks of my early 20s. I couldn't sleep at all. I was up until 6am this morning, despite being completely worn out and WANTING desperately to sleep. My anxiety is mostly focusing around work and all that is going on there, but that swirls around everything in my life because my job is such a big part of who I am. The anxiety starts to taint everything - I fretted about money, my marriage, my lack of kids at this stage, my house not being finished, as far as decor goes, savings - do we have enough, what else should we do...My mind raced all night, my chest hurt, and I couldn't rest.

Ugh. I tried to put it in perspective - because I realize there are people in the world with REAL problems, but that didn't seem to help last night.

I'll be glad when I'm home with my animals and surrounded by familiar things. It's comforting at times like these.

1 comment:

Mary said...

Oh, you are bringing back memories of when I was in my first (toxic) job out of college.

I hope things improve, quickly.