music, ah music.

there is so much ridiculously good music in the world. and you never hear any of it on the radio. because the radio plays the same re-mixed, processed, canned crap over and over and over again. even 'alternative' radio is the same nu-metal music that i've heard a thousand times. thank god for itunes and people with musical taste besides myself. my friends are helping me branch out. the great thing about "weird" music is that the CDs are cheap used on amazon (HINT HINT - CHECK MY WISHLIST, because i'll be 27 soon:) those interested in unearthing some music that's truly worthy, check out the following:

The Veils
Wolf Parade
The Bravery
Honorary Title
Kasabian
Okkervil River (esp the CD Black Sheep Boy, the song "So Come Back, I Am Waiting")
The Mars Volta
Sparta
Minus the Bear (esp the song "Puchaca Sunrise")

ok, that was probably boring to all of you who aren't interested in music.

i worked today! and our results were PERFECT !! of course, i screwed up some in the lab. i haven't been there in a year, and dr k was watching me the whole time - and i have very poor attention to detail skills - so it was interesting. but everything worked out perfectly, i'm happy to say. i think we'll actually get a paper out of this summer - which would be great for me. and i think i'll have more steady/consistent work to do. i don't know if that's a good thing or not.

that's about all to report. i'm feeling pretty okay right now. the depression is lifting from me. it's not entirely gone - it comes and goes in waves, but i'm doing better every day.

low key summer

well, not much to talk about here. i've been having a - more or less - relaxing summer so far. wednesday, my grandparents and parents came up for the day. i cooked them dinner - and andrew and rhi came, too. it was nice. we went thrift store hopping and had lunch, as well. i'm blanking out on what i did thursday - but i did something. oh yes, i got up early, cleaned the house, worked out at the gym, went to border's with jim. i scribbled in my journal, he studied. we were there until about 7ish, then we came home and watched a movie. american psycho. about as random as i remember it being the first time. friday, i got up, worked out, went riding with a classmate at her barn - where i learned a little bit of barrel racing (really really fun!) and was offered a job teaching riding lessons at $35 an hour (which i gladly accepted), came home, showered, drove to greeneville with jim for phillip's high school graduation.

we left late friday night to come home (midnight) - and the timing belt went on the car. AGAIN. apparently, the first time we had it fixed, it was done incorrectly. luckily we only paid $500 for that job. in case sarcasm doesn't translate on the internet, that was HEAVILY sarcastic. it tore up when i was coming back from florida for spring break last year. it was easter sunday - so we had to find the one place open to fix it. and they gouged us, of course. and they didn't even do it right, turns out. lovely, eh? ah, at any rate. we had to rent a tow-behind - and andrew towed our car home. so here i am. jim's working on fixing it.

the weekend isn't slowing any for busy-ness. luke is spending the night here. so...yeah.

tomorrow is my last day of freedom before work starts. i almost typed 'before school starts' - which is kind of apt, since it's research and it's at school - unfortunately. but the riding lessons will give me a break from school - and i'm bound and determined to have a fun summer - dammit.

i guess that's all to report here. i'm really tan - due to my day at the steeplechase, my riding yesterday, and my attempt to be out in the sun every opportunity that presents itself. those opportunities have been very scarce this week. the one week i have off before work starts, and the weather has been cool and rainy. :(

ah sweet summer

i've been having a relaxing week since school got out. i've seen a lot of people that i haven't seen in a while - dan and gabby are here. dan (jim's best friend from high school) and gabby eloped and are expecting a baby in october or september. they just moved back to knoxville from utah, and they crashed at our place on thursday night. we spent most of thurs night and friday with them. saturday, i worked at the iroquois steeplechase in nashville drug testing the winning horses. it was a flawless day - 80ish degrees, with a strong, cool breeze that kept the day tolerable. it was a gorgeous day for horse-racing - and perfect perfect weather. the track was dry, it wasn't too hot for the horses - it was perfection. no horses were permanently injured and none had to be put down (unlike my first experience at a steeplechase, during which TWO horses had to be euthanized for broken legs).
it was a lot of work - because the iroquois has the biggest purse on the east coast - so the testing was especially stringent. they tested not just the winning horses (standard) of the iroquois itself, but also the 2nd and 3rd place horses, which meant that there had to be three of us working that race - and three of us was all that were present. the first five races also had more tests than usual. so we were kept hopping all day. in between races, i amused myself by eating all the prime rib and hor d'oeuvres that were located in the hospitality tent.

at the end, the lovely bartenders gave me a bottle of unopened korbel champagne to bring home. haven't drunk it yet, but i have plans for it:)

i've watched some movies too - since school got out - woody allen's new movie 'match point' - which was NOT what i expected. well done, but i didn't love it. also 'dancing at the blue iguana' - which is about strippers. i have a whole bunch more rented to watch...but i'm trying not to see everything in one day. i've downloaded new music - including some minus the bear and royksopp, and started reading nabokov's lolita. my first time. kind of a dense and odd read.

unfortunately, i haven't been able to unprogram my sleep schedule. i wake up around 6:45 every morning, like clockwork. i go back to sleep, but i've been getting up by 8:30 (at the latest) every morning since school got out. i kind of like it. the morning seems more peaceful than later in the day. i got up this morning at 7:45, cleaned up the house a bit, took titus to school so that they could pull a bloodfeather he broke, did some minor errands, and that was about it. i find waking up early seems to help me get more out of the day. but i also fall asleep earlier at night (11ish).

yesterday, we spent in gvegas, visiting our respective mothers. it was a nice day - i ate too much. but it was fun.

7 As and 2 Bs! I did it!

i'm really proud of myself. i pulled both of my Cs up to Bs!! i made 7As and 2Bs this semester. that's a shot for my GPA. it'll be above a 3.5 now, which is AWESOME. because that's what i need to get a residency. at least. although one of my professors assures me that if i'm at or above that, i'll be fine for a residency.

wow. it's really done now. i am officially a 3rd year vet student. an UPPERCLASSMEN! and i have the whole summer to read read read read read - watch movies - discover new music and RELAX. i'm so so so so so so so so glad summer is here. which mixes a little uneasily with the feeling of emptiness/sadness that i have. that feeling of having something taken away from me. that something is the constant pressure of needing to be doing school-related stuff.

i feel like crying and screaming for joy at the same time. it's such an unbelievable relief to be free.

i had a good time at rhino's party last night. although i did discover that i suck at horseshoes. even sober. which i was - all night. i didn't drink any, which is amazing. i did eat enough to probably kill a lesser person - but ryan bbq'd ribs and fixed jerk chicken and a bunch of stuff. the food was amazing and abundant. i was actually in pain, at one point. anyway, i was at the party on 5ish hours of sleep in 2 days, so i bailed at midnight, came home, and passed out unconscious in bed. then, james (my brother) showed up at my house at 9:30 this morning. so, we went to breakfast and CD shopping. he just left, and i have some major cleaning to do - which i'm actually excited about doing. because my house is REALLY REALLY gross.

alright, i'm going. :) I LOVE LIFE at the moment.

it's over

i'm officially a third year vet student. wow.

both of my last finals went much much better than expected. i think the teachers had mercy on us. we shall see. as it stands now, i have 4 confirmed As, 1 tentative A, and 2 unknowns.

more tomorrow after i've slept. i went to bed at 3 the night before last and got up at 6:30, and last night, it was 4:30 and 7am. so i'm running on NO sleep whatsoever. and i just got back from rhino's big cookout/inebriation fest.

tomorrow

is going to be a terrible terrible day. starting with our neurology final at 9am. i made a 72 on the midterm, which isn't atrocious, considering that 25% of the class made a D or an F. but still - it's low. and neurology is freaking hard. i'm actually nauseated when i think about taking this test. it scares me that much. i'm never going to be a brain surgeon, because i SUCK at neurology.

after that's over, i get to pull a likely all-nighter, frantically cramming pharmacology notes into my brain. that's going to be a bastard of a test too. i have a C in that class as well. closer to a B though, a 77.8% or something ridiculous like that. and the teacher does not round - at all. so i have that grade, not a 78%. and if i wind up with a 79.9% - then i get a C+. it's going to be miserable tomorrow. i'm going to be mentally exhausted from taking neuro - then i have to turn around and try to learn all the pharmacology i've been putting off.

but - then it's over. after pharm, we're taking the 1st years on the plant walk, to collect toxic plants for toxicology, then tuesday night is a big ribfest/drunkfest at rhino's place. that should be fun. provided i don't drink enough to throw up. we shall see.

keep me in your thoughts. i'm on shaky mental ground at the moment.

finals are here

today was our first, alimentary systems (GI eg vomiting and diarrhea 101). it was scantron. the teacher had it graded and posted within 2 hrs. i made a 98. but then, of my 67 classmates, 66 made As. the teacher was excellent, he told us what would be on the final, and that's what was on it. i studied for it, i went to all the lectures, i learned a lot, and i aced the final (along with the rest of my classmates). it makes me happy because GI is a 4 hour course - the largest course hours-wise this semester, and i made an A in it. that means that i have 4 hours of 4.0, which is GREAT. as it stands, i have 4 As - ophtho, nutrition, endocrinology, and GI. our zoonoses final is friday, i currently have an A in that class, too. unfortunately, my other 2 classes - neuro and pharm - are both Cs. and the finals are back to back - monday and tuesday. i have to work extra hard to pull those grades up to Bs. neuro is so low (72) that i don't think i'll have a shot in hell at an A. i need a perfect score to manage that. not gonna happen. i suck at neurology. pharm, on the other hand, is much closer to a B. i have a 78. so i could conceivably pull that up to an A. probably not likely though. still, i would be thrilled to come out of this semester with 5As and 2Bs. it would bring my GPA above a 3.5, i think. which is the minimum, generally, for a residency. so i've heard.

i'm not nearly as stressed as i thought i would be by this point. i'm just here, existing. i have to do the best i can, and what else can you do, really? vet school is my life currently, there's just no getting around it. i've been taking it relatively easy during finals week. studying but not frantically using up every available second. a lot of my classmates are being very disciplined, which makes me feel like a huge slacker, but ... ah well.

i've been listening to the soundtrack from the new pride and prejudice frequently. it's so good. and a friend of mine has gotten me into some really amazing music lately - that i've been listening to repetitively. i can't afford to buy anymore music from itunes, so i'm waiting for my birthday to get full CDs. i only have really cool songs here and there. and i keep listening to the itunes samples of the CDs, because i can't afford to actually buy them all. i love itunes. i love music.

i feel pretty good today. i don't know why. maybe it's because i've lost 13 lbs, the end of finals is in sight, 3rd year is looming near, summer is almost here, and the weather today was flawless. i spent 3 hours outside, in the sun, studying zoonoses. my expensive red dye job is already two shades lighter. if i keep studying outside, i'll be totally blonde again, within the month. i'm sure all of you that are fans of my naturally blonde hair will be glad to see that. and i'm ready to be blonde again, for a while anyway.