I am utterly exhausted. Evaline has decided to feed pretty much every 2 hours round the clock lately. She must be going through a growth spurt. I was sitting in a stupor in the glider yesterday afternoon, feeding her, when my cell range. The caller ID identified it as work. My husband answered it only to find my colleague on the other end, begging me to come in and help her. It was Sunday afternoon, she had no back-up vet, and she had 3 surgeries to do - a pyometra and 2 traumatic abdominal hernias (both cats). Patients were still filing in.
I agreed to come and help (again, building that good will). I figured it would be a good way to test the waters before plunging back in on Wednesday night.
It was a busy Sunday, and the cases were interesting. I saw a stable, hit-by-car English setter with a dislocated elbow, a cat with a high fever and labored breathing that turned out to have a pyothorax, a laterally recumbent, comatose Boston terrier with likely parvovirus, and a host of other cases large and small.
Truthfully, I absolutely relished being back at work. It felt great to be using my brain again and to be doing something! On the other hand, I missed my daughter pretty soon after arriving. When I arrived home, it turned out that she was rejecting my stored milk (a long story - google excess lipase in breast milk if you are interested). She'd been fussy and unhappy since I'd left, escalating to purple faced crying for about 25 minutes.
So, it's back to work officially on Wednesday night. I go with very mixed emotions. I love my job, and I look forward to being in the land of adults. I really relish the idea of using my brain! On the other hand, I missed Evaline terribly after six hours, and my heart melted with happiness when I got home to her after a short shift. The whole pumping and working thing has me worried, especially with the fact that my breastmilk has such a complicated problem (excess lipase) that must be managed. Further, Evaline isn't on any kind of a schedule at all. She eats and sleeps whenever she wants to. She doesn't "go down for the night" till about 2:30am, although "down for the night" usually means a consecutive 3 hours - 4 if I'm REALLY lucky. Further, she is highly attached and wants/needs to be held a great deal of the time. Lastly, she is used to sleeping in the bed with me, but she can't do this with my husband. She absolutely will not sleep in her bassinet or crib.
To sum it up, there are going to be many, many adjustments for her, for me, and for my husband. I am apprehensive about all these changes and how they will affect her. I know it will be fine in the long run, but I can't help but worry!
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