Squirrels with harpoons

The things people say sometimes can really crack me up in the ER. Case in point last night - a youngish, normal looking guy brings in his 60+ pound mixed breed dog. This is a big dog, hefty. Said dog has a nasty sucking chest wound right in front of his shoulder. The hole is only about quarter sized, but every time the leg is moved forward - a sucking noise is heard. This indicates that the hole is much deeper and penetrating into the chest. The dog was pretty stable with only a mild pneumothorax.

After discussing the treatment plan with the owner, I casually asked what he thought had happened. Apparently, the dog loved to run in the woods full tilt after squirrels. Oh, I thought to myself, so he impaled himself on a stick or something. The owner however, looked me square in the eye and said **in all seriousness**, "I think he was attacked by a squirrel."

All I can say is that a squirrel that would attack a hefty dog like that must be either supremely confident, rabid, or armed with a grenade tipped harpoon.