waiting

for my histopaque to reach room temperature. i can't do anything until it does, unfortunately. i should have had someone take it out of the fridge before i arrived at the lab today, but i wasn't thinking too straight when i woke up.

ugh. i feel icky. i'm sure i have stuff to talk about, but for the moment...i'm rather blank. i was in Gvegas last night till about 12:30am, playing trivial pursuit pop culture with my family. it was my mom's birthday, so we had dinner and played games. it was sharona's birthday too, but she was in memphis. everybody has a birthday in the next week. mom and sharon's yesterday, nanny's on wednesday, alison's friday, andrew's on saturday, phillip's on monday - and on and on. the list never seems to end. why does everyone get busy during nov/dec?

alison has me hooked on a pretty wholesome TV show called the gilmore girls. it further demonstrates how impressionable my mind is...i watch it - and immediately become more appreciative of my family and the support network i have. i realize that i'm easily influenced - and therefore, maybe i'm not easily influenced - but i have to be careful what i put in my head because bad things could result. it's a rather interesting thought. i've never been one to blame porn and video games for the world's evils (and to clarify i still DON'T)...but again, i acknowledge that the weaker minder in society might be easily molded by what is on TV, in the theater, on the radio...as a result, i'm more choosy about what goes in. though i still watch R rated movies and stuff like that -- i think i'm just more aware of its possible influence...

i'm babbling. don't listen to me.
i have to go prep my samples...

masochistic streak

i have one - about 6 miles wide. i volunteered to prepare materials for the incoming 1st year class. that involves scanning every test we took last year into the computer, compiling them, organizing them into folders according to semester, then according to class. on top of that, i volunteered to compile (which means typing by hand into microsoft word) all the anatomy objectives for fall semester. there are only (heavy sarcasm) 194 of them! and some of these objectives are 3-4 pages long. the goal is to get all this information neatly organized and onto a CD. i will then take that beautifully organized CD and burn 70 copies. it's a lot more work than i bargained for when i volunteered. but i really want to help out the incoming students. the class above us wasn't so helpful to our class, leaving us to figure out a lot on our own. plus, some classmates got copies of old tests from their big sibs in the class above, and some people didn't. there was an unequal distribution of materials. and everyone needs this stuff. so that's why the CD project. but it's taking a looooooooooooooong time, and i have a severe crick in my neck. i hope they appreciate this.

hrm. other than that, nothing to report. i've spent the day working on this project. it's what i originally intended to do with my week off - that and start gathering poisonous plants for my toxicology herbarium that's due in october. unfortunately, a lot of plants are withered by then. so i have to start collecting and pressing them now. it's good i have a black thumb - plants naturally die a lot faster in my presence. that will aid in compiling my herbarium. haha. i use the word compiling too much.

alright - so what am i listening to as of late? a lot of crap. stevie wonder, which isn't crap. but right now - shame - i'm listening to shakira. she can't dance, and she likes to writhe in mud - for whatever reason - - she can't sing all that well either. why am i listening to this?? oh yes, further evidence of my masochistic streak --- alright ---

nighty -nighty. i think i'm done with my good deed for the day.

blog blog blog blog

i haven't much to say. i cooked dinner again tonight (last night was spaghetti and salad). tonight was leftover spaghetti and chicken/cheese/rice casserole.

i saw a movie by myself yesterday. a matinee of 'march of the penguins' - a documentary film about emperor penguins in antarctica. it was really interesting, beautifully filmed, and my first alone-movie. i go out to eat alone on occasion, shop alone, but i've never done the movie alone thing. it was a new experience. i felt a little naked and obvious at first, but that quickly went away. the documentary was great ... and the experience was great. my only complaint was that some IDIOT brought along a 4 year old child (or maybe 3) to a documentary film. the kid cried, talked, whined, and played with a very loud toy the entire film. the toy was one of those sticks with 2 balls that you try to bang together in sync. who the hell gives a kid a toy like that in a movie theater? it was beyond rude and inconsiderate. i considered asking for my money back, because the kid was so distracting, but in the end, i just tried to shut it out. i might have enjoyed the movie even more had the kid been absent.

anyway, i've fallen in love with stevie wonder. there are few songs that are as amazing as 'superstition' - i maintain. you can see where jamiroquai comes by his influences - heavily. next to stevie wonder, he's just a weak imitation.

i'm reading a book called 'enslaved by ducks' - it's about a husband who finds his life overrun with pets that his wife brings home - bunnies, parrots (2 african greys and others), ducks, turkeys, cats, dogs, etc. the book is a reflection on how he went from ambivalent about animals to caring for the ducks outdoors - including filling their plastic pool during the freezing january winter. i laughed so hard just reading the back - because it made me think of jim over and over - that i had to buy it and read it. it's pretty funny - if only because it seems so familiar - like a book i could have written.

i guess that's all. i'm still obsessed with fashion and clothing. . . and music... i've been downloading a lot of music lately. i don't have much to do, other than clean up after birds/husbands, cook dinner, and try to resist the urge to shop. i read - but i read too fast, i never thought that would be a problem. but it is. i finished my books too fast. later.

we're not afraid

i like this site: it's the opposite of we're sorry.com or whatever that bullsh*t site apologizing to the world for bush's election was called.

go to :

www.werenotafraid.com

i like it! support a society that doesn't give up in the face of fear and terrorism.

on that note, i meant to mention i know was injured fairly badly in the london bombings. her name was katie b., and she and her sister were in london when the bombs detonated. she sustained shrapnel wounds to the neck, shoulders, and back. she had to have surgery. i think her condition was stable at the time. i haven't heard anything further. keep her in your thoughts.

how many people can say...

they touched a tiger today? i did. i petted him right on his snuggly, huge, sedated head. there's a tiger here from the rehab place for a dental/tooth removal. it was pretty darn neat. i didn't have my camera, OF COURSE. i never have my camera when anything exciting is going on. it's such a rush to be privy to these kinds of things. being a vet student/future doctor opens so many previously closed doors. i find it so exciting.

public speaking

i think that i read somewhere that public speaking is in the top 5 most feared list. right up there with death, flying, spiders, etc. i don't understand the fear of speaking in public. that's not to say that i don't get just as nervous as anyone - but the fear itself is rather irrational. it seems to stem from the worry of being judged by others. or maybe it's just that everyone's attention is focused on you, the speaker. or at least, i like to pretend that's true. but i've been to enough talks, lectures, classes, etc. to know that after 15 minutes, no one is listening anyway. course, my talk is only 7 minutes long, so maybe everyone will be attentive. i present my research tomorrow at 12:30. i'm a little nervous, but i feel very comfortable with my subject matter. i like what i'm doing, i'm excited about it, and i want to convey it to my future and present colleagues. anyway, i'm trying to finish my powerpoint. i hate powerpoint. it really has detracted from people having to actually learn to speak clearly and well in public. now, you can just read from your powerpoint slides. i think public speaking is on the losing side of this. i've sat through too many lectures where people read me the slides that i could plainly see and read for myself. at any rate, my powerpoint is plain, no frills, just the basics. i'll fill in the details with my lecture.

anyway, not much else is going on here. i've worked for 3 consecutive days. it's really odd considering that i haven't done much lately. i'm leaving for florida on saturday, to spend the week with my family. hopefully there won't be too many more hurricanes. jim, regrettably, can find no one to sub for his class, so he has to stay here.

ah well, ta-ta.

blogging at work

yes, i'm at work. i actually had to get up at 7:15 this morning and come to work. not good considering that i never really went to sleep last night. i've had so little to do - work-wise - that i've been staying up all hours of the night, reading and watching movies. so, my bedtime has been around 4 am, and i don't usually rise till about 1:30. great life, i know. at any rate, since my circadian rhythms are all wacky - i was jacked up till way past 4am last night. now, i'm at work, yawning my head off from lack of sleep. but it's my own fault. i'm waiting to start actual work on the blood samples, but i can't yet - as my advisor isn't here...so i'm just twiddling my thumbs. la-di-da.

today was an interesting morning. we went to draw blood for research. i was learning to restrain a parrot one-handed and take blood with the other hand. it's a difficult technique. when i had practiced that, i went to release the parrot (an amazon) back into the cage. i loosened my grip enough for him to get out, whip his head around, and attempt to remove the top of my finger. which he did attempt, with some success. he hung on and ground his beak into me about 3 times. i was proud of myself. i didn't yell or flail, just had dr g remove him. but it hurt. blood welled up out of it in a big bead immediately, and now my finger is swollen and purple. ack. it was my own fault. i knew better than to let up on the pressure. at any rate, live and learn. probably no permanent nerve damage done.

i have to give a brief (7-10 minutes) talk on thursday about my research. the talk will be attended by doctors, fellow students, the Dean, etc. it's a little bit scary. but i'm actually excited about it. i find my research so interesting that i'm looking forward to sharing it with colleagues and superiors alike. i do well at oral presentations, but i think i get as nervous beforehand as anyone. but i usually realize that there is absolutely nothing to be nervous about...and then i'm calm, cool, and collected. i love to talk, after all. i'm sure most of you find that shocking.

i've spent a bit of time lately trying to decide what i want to do once i'm finished with my DVM. there are so many options that it's a bit overwhelming. i could just be an avian vet in a practice somewhere. that's always an option. but it's probably hard to get into that line of work, since the demand, while growing, is still not high. but it's an option. i could continue on and get a phd, though i don't know how that will work with our plans to have children. i could get my phd, teach, research, and be a vet at a place like UT. or i could do equine. or i could go into public health. the options are totally limitless. i like that - but it's also kind of hard to make a decision. we'll see what happens. gotta go, my advisor is here. time to actually do some work.

since i am a vet student

i thought i'd post something that is related to being a vet student.

I ACTUALLY HAD TO WORK TODAY! YES! i had to get up at 8am and go to work. and tomorrow, i have to get up at 7am and go to work. amazing, isn't it? so, we're still working on the parrot research. over the course of the last few months, i have learned a great many new words and terminology used in research. for instance - the words 'changing our focus' and 'redirecting our interests' are nice ways of saying - well, plan A and B have failed miserably, let's try something completely different! my research has been "accomplished" in fits and stops. we haven't really had any success that we could take and use to start actual structured experiments. at this point, we're 'exploring our options' - which means ordering antibody freebie samples, bleeding a lot of quail and parrots, and figuring out something. it's been eye-opening. i never realized that research would be so frustrating. i guess it makes sense, though. we're starting with an idea that we hope will work, but that - in all likelihood - probably will not. and since this project is freshly started this summer, i'm here to see the labor pains. at any rate, i have learned a great deal, all sarcasm aside. i now understand flow cytometry enough to explain it to a layperson (i hope), i know a bit more about hematology (that's blood for non-nerds) than i did before, and other useful stuff.

i have one more week (not counting thurs/fri) and then i'm supposed to head to florida for the annual beach trip with el familio. after that, 2 more weeks of research, and i'm finished. i get a glorious 2 week vacation, then i start helping with orientation for the class of 2009 - and then - school. it seems both faraway and very near. i know how fast the time will go by, regrettably.

i'm looking forward to my 2nd year of vet school, though i feel a bit apprehensive. not because of the work, but because i'm just not sure yet where i want to go when i'm finished with school. i had the same feeling prior to graduating college - only much too late to do anything useful about it - say the day of graduation. i want to be prepared when i finish vet school, to have some concept of where i'm going with my life. but then - don't we all?

oh yes, the handsome couple pictured is myself and my hooband celebrating our 6th wedding anniversary. every year gets better and better. what did i ever do to have such a wonderful life?

uh. i guess that's all to say here. vet school is looming again. i'm ready. i think.

happy independence day

i guess that was technically yesterday.

i've had a busy weekend. i left on friday to ride with jim and his parents to kenton, tn (right outside memphis) for the his dad's family reunion. it was a good time. that side of jim's family is really easy-going, fun, and interesting. it would have been a great time had i not come down with some odd bug. i was feeling okay, but on saturday, i got really sick. i projectile vomited up my dinner on saturday night. the ride back from kenton on sunday was spent mostly in a sleepy stupor on jim's lap. i recovered okay, though. i still feel icky today, but i can eat. today, we drove to greeneville for a short visit with the family. i was feeling bad again and spent some of the time napping. jim socialized, since he won't get to go to the beach this year. we left early to meet dee and alison back in kville at the green hills grille for dinner. it was to celebrate our mutual anniversaries - ours on july 2nd and theirs on july 4. 6 years for us, 1 year for them. amazing how time flies. the food at GHG was mediocre and expensive, but i enjoyed the company. however, by the time we got home (around 10ish), i was feeling worn out and icky again. i climbed into bed, but i have since found that i can't sleep. so, here i am.

i haven't much to report. i'm having a hard time lately - mentally as well as physically. i've gotten all tangled up in my neuroses. living in someone else's house is hard - as i expected it to be. it's very hard to overcome my control freak tendencies. on top of that, i have cleanliness issues. and this house is anything BUT clean. there is clutter and mess everywhere. it's been steadily getting better since we moved in, but there is still much to do. i would do it, if i were capable of sorting through someone else's stuff. but i can't. so i have to wait. and having my hands tied when there is cleaning to do is NOT something i'm happy about. that gets me down. when i'm down, i start to fixate on other things - my inability to change the flaws i perceive in myself, my shortcomings, the future, etc. etc. and it makes me unhappy. to top it off, i've had some sort of constant sinus problem lately that is just about to drive me mad. i have nose bleeds, a painful, dry nose, and constant snot issues. it's uncomfortable - to say the least. and it's only happened since we moved. i can't figure out what it is. i hope it's not the dogs.

anyway, i haven't much else to say now. i am reading the mists of avalon still. it's a long book, and i haven't had much time for it lately. it's very good though, totally engrossing. i should be returning to work tomorrow, but at this point, who knows? adios, amigos.

oh yes, i heard a funny comment today by a comedian. he said:

"why are we screening everyone that goes through airports? whites, blacks, mexicans? where's a mexican gonna go if he hijacks a plane? he's already here!" i thought that was great.