MISSING

LOST: motivation - wearing a collar marked PROPERTY OF UTCVM VET SCHOOL, quite large and annoying, shaped vaguely like a small, 5 "2 girl. might be wearing really high heels that are ridiculously inappropriate for veterinary work. might be hiding under or in something dark and quiet and secret. if found, there is a reward, please phone me at 800-FAIL-OUT.

haha.

no seriously, finals loom next week. actually, not even next week. we have radiology on friday. and my motivation is negative. how can you have negative motivation? wouldn't that imply unstudying deliberately? like trying to forget stuff you've learned? or spending so much time doing other stuff that you go backwards in knowledge??

my grades are good right now. not great, but good. i haven't worked nearly as hard as i could have this semester, and i've tried to take time out/off and have a life. it's been successful and my grades don't seem to have suffered too much - though i did do better last semester. as it stands, in no particular order:

Radiology B+ (89 actually)
Respiratory B
Repro A
Exotics A
Ultrasound A
Behavior B
Cardiology B (? - they won't return are ALREADY over 2 weeks ago final until all finals are finished for whatever idiotic reason)

the truly interesting thing about vet school is that i seem to be learning less and less and remembering less and less. today, i likened my brain to an attic (or my grandparents garage, take your pick). you can keep cramming stuff in there, but eventually - there's not room for anything else. and then you have to start throwing stuff out if you want anything else to go in. and it's not even like my brain allows me to CHOOSE what i throw out. i subconsciously pitch stuff.

that memory of how simply calcium homeostasis works in the body?? totally useless -- OUT!!
the memory of my first and only pony, prince -- ah screw it, he was a bastard of a pony anyway - OUT!!
my wedding day -- oh god, who needs that stress?? OUT!!
my password for my bank account -- i can always sell myself on the streets (will neuter cats for food) -- OUT!!!

everybody, everything out.

seriously, i need help.