ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

it's over. another semester of hell. and when i say hell, for once - i actually mean it. besides school, i had to deal with all of my emotional stuff that was unrelated to school. it was a hard, hard semester. i know - wah. feel sorry for me.

my final grades aren't all reported. i don't know (for sure) what i made in respiratory and behavior, everything else is what i thought it would be - 3As, 1B+, 1B. i'm fairly sure i made a B in respiratory. behavior -- who knows? i had a 90 average. i'm not sure how i did on the final, so i can't say if i went up or down (or stayed the same). but - despite the emotional turmoil in my life - i managed to maintain good grades. i have to say i'm glad for that. i was worried there for a while.

yesterday was exhausting. i had to fly to memphis to meet my brother and ride back to knoxville with him the same night. it was a spur of the moment trip, and i was very tired. then i went christmas shopping today. considering that i have 4 siblings and jim has 4 siblings, we spent a ton of money. even with a relatively small budget, we spent too much. i think i've lost the christmas spirit, it's way more stressful than it should be.

i guess that's all to report here. i'm sure i have something interesting to say, but i can't think of anything. we're leaving for new york city in a mere 9 days. and we'll be in greeneville come wednesday. it's exhausting to think about. when i come back home (jan 1st), i'll have a few short (9) days before school starts back - and then - nothing for another year. after spring semester, we go straight into clinics and work for the next year, as fake doctors. i can't believe it's so close. such a scary thought. i'm that close to being done...that close...! and i am so ready for it.

i've decided (at this moment) that i'm going to skip the whole internship and residency thing. i'm going straight into private practice. i'm tired of being broke, of always worrying about how we're going to make ends meet come december and january. if i do a residency/internship route, we'll have ANOTHER 4 years of never having any money or stability. i'm ready for a real life, a life that includes decent furniture, cars that don't tear up every month or so, children and motherhood, and a 9-5 (or thereabouts) job. i'm so ready for children! jim and i have been together for almost 11 years now -- married for 7.5 years. i'm ready for a family!!!

ok, phew. glad to have that off the old shoulders. i must go and recover from the exhaustion of mindless consumerism.