FoF

i am leaving for louisiana on wednesday. my flight is at 8:30am. i hate leaving now, with all the uproar at home. but i have to go to these 2 conferences. the first is the Merck/Merial National Veterinary Scholars Symposium. i'm going to present my research from this summer (which is finished and was highly successful!) in poster format. it's a graduate / vet student symposium. i've never been to baton rouge, or anywhere else in louisiana really. i'm excited and apprehensive both. terrified of flying, of course. imagining the worst things happening - surfing the internet and reading about the planes i'm flying on and everything else i can get my grubby little hands on. some parts of me are ok with flying, know that rationally - nothing is going to happen. then the irrational parts of me pipe up and start yammering about mechanical failures and pilot error and turbulence and wind shear (can you tell that i've been surfing the net for 2 hours?)

on aug 6th, i fly ALONE from LA to TX for the annual assoc of avian vets conference. there, i'm presenting my research - in conjunction with my mentor - on monday. in front of roughly 700 people. i should be more scared of that. but mostly i'm scared of the flight. i've never flown alone before, so it'll be an eye-opening experience. might turn out to be liberating. or - could turn out to be mind-blowingly horrific. i'm hoping desperately for the former.

i've been watching planes land at our local airport a lot from my front porch. we're close enough that i can see the planes descending. it comforts me in some ways.

i wish i had a prescription for xanax. or valium. or any other sedative that would knock me unconscious for the flight. instead, i'll have to crunch chewable dramamine (for my air sickness) and hope that i survive the 12 take-offs and landings i must endure. kville to memphis, memphis to baton rouge, BR to houston, houston to san antonion, san antonio to memphis, and then memphis to home. i won't be back till aug 12. nine whole days. and more flying than i've ever done in my life, plus 2 presentations. it's going to be so much fun. i mean that about 50%.

the proposition

i can't say enough about this movie. it lived up to expectations and far, far more.

it's a very brutal western, set in the australian outback. the movie is a study in contrasts - namely the contrast of civilization (the british) and the primitive (the australians/immigrants). the story revolves around the burns gang, a group of brothers with a history of violent crimes. one is to be hanged - and his older brother is given the option of hunting down and killing their other brother - so that his youngest (who is very simple minded) can live. hence the title.

the movie is filmed gorgeously, the music is unforgettable, and the acting is pitch perfect. there isn't a ton of dialogue or action. so much of the movie is conveyed through scenery and brief interchanges between characters. hell, there are moments when facial expressions convey an enormous amount - perhaps more than actual dialogue could have. what makes it so interesting is both the moral ambiguity that the storyline presents and the multiple paralells that exist within the story. aborigines play a part - and the paralell between how the aborigines view the white immigrants (subhuman) and how arthur burns (the eldest, amoral? of the burns brothers) views those outside of his familial circle is really rockin'. the movie is also heavy on symbolism - letting the rugged outback of the australian desert serve as a constant reminder of the brutality of the burns gang, as well as perhaps a commentary on their moral character?

one of the british characters, stanley - lives in this desert, in a house surrounded by a fence, with carefully cultivated rosebushes everywhere. the juxtaposition of the desert with the lushness of this oasis -- ahh!!! i love symbolism!! the whole movie is frought with examples like that. where scenery and careful directing impart a subtle but brilliant theme to the film. it's how - with so little dialogue and action - the movie manages to convey a definite theme, mood, and message. or maybe less of a message, more of an idea - that the line between good and evil is very thin and can be difficult to discern. it's certainly a depressing movie.

i loved it. but it was extremely violent. the violence was infrequent and usually the camera cut away rapidly - so it wasn't over the top gore. but it was still a little more than i could handle. i watched a couple of scenes through my fingers. it's definitely a brutal movie - but so so good. and this comes from me. i don't like westerns, and i still don't understand the whole unforgiven fuss. but this movie...wow.

i just finished the 2nd book, HP and the chamber of secrets. it was a fun and fast read. but honestly, i don't get what all the fuss is about yet. the first two books were essentially the same - same plot arc, same characters, same development of the story. i didn't feel like the characters changed or grew that much from one book to the next. so i can't quite see what all the uproar about the books is. i'm going to keep reading them, though - because everyone reveres them so much. and i've heard that the books 'mature' as the characters mature. i've also heard the 3rd book is really good. so...i guess i'll give it a shot.

it's not that i didn't enjoy the books, because i did. but i'm not feeling the HP fervor. perhaps it will come with time?? like running perhaps? you don't get into a groove until the 3rd mile (book) ?? speaking of running, i ran a mile on the treadmill yesterday - and the shin splints about leveled me - AGAIN. i'm not sure what's going on here, but i'm going to slow my pace down to about what it was when i started and see if that helps. jim said i've been running too much. i don't see how that's possible, but it's his theory. i don't want to give up on it, and i want to get better, but the pain yesterday almost brought me to tears. also, dan has this sick idea that i should train for the marathon with him and jim. i think he's off his nut. i have absolutely zero interest in running a marathon. i get bored at around 3 miles! heck, i have less than zero interest, i have NEGATIVE interest. but he's quite enamored of the idea. crazy.

my first 5k

was a disappointment. it was unbearably hot and sticky. i got shin splints about a quarter of a mile into it, my feet and calves hurt, too. i just felt bad. not a 'peak' day for running. i finished, but my time was abysmal - 11.9 minute miles. i'd been down to 9ish min miles at the gym. but it's ok. there are plenty more races to run.

i don't do well in heat. i'm kinda a weenie that way.

overall, i'm very disappointed. i didn't feel good, my time was lousy, and i just wanted to quit at 1.5 miles. i've spent the last month and a half working toward this, and i felt like i was doing really well with my times and my stamina. but the heat and humidity just wiped me out today. i finished it though. so i guess that's saying something. i'm definitely going to run another one as soon as i can.

my first 5k

was a disappointment. it was unbearably hot and sticky. i got shin splints about a quarter of a mile into it, my feet and calves hurt, too. i just felt bad. not a 'peak' day for running. i finished, but my time was abysmal - 11.9 minute miles. i'd been down to 9ish min miles at the gym. but it's ok. there are plenty more races to run.

i don't do well in heat. i'm kinda a weenie that way.

overall, i'm very disappointed. i didn't feel good, my time was lousy, and i just wanted to quit at 1.5 miles. i've spent the last month and a half working toward this, and i felt like i was doing really well with my times and my stamina. but the heat and humidity just wiped me out today. i finished it though. so i guess that's saying something. i'm definitely going to run another one as soon as i can.

the picture above is the finish line, the time on the time board is definitely NOT mine. i wish i could run 3.2 miles in 18mins. i would rock.